Little Brother

Big Brother,

My name is Valor, and today I am 2 months, 11 days old. Mama told me that when you turned this old, you had to leave her to go live at Jesus’ house. I can’t even wonder what it was like to go away – and I wish you could have stayed so that I would’ve had the chance to meet you – but boy am I surrre proud to have an older brother SO brave. I don’t know if you even know who I am, but I’d like to think you had something to do with Jesus’ plan in sending me here (so healthy and strong), to help Mama feel happy again. She cries about you all the time, and sometimes I wonder if she will ever stop feeling so sad… but I think the longer I stay here with her she’s gonna start feeling better!

I’m sorry that you had to be sick, and I’m sorry you didn’t get the same help when you were born that I was given. If I had been sick, I would’ve lived BECAUSE of you; because YOU made it so that none of your little brothers will ever have to suffer like you did, and that is the bestest  thing a big brother could ever do. Thank you for being such a good big brother. Mama told me that if you had never left, she wouldn’t have planned for another baby so soon, and that ‘nother baby is ME! I feel so special that I get to be here today, because of you.

Our big brother Ezekiel is pretty cool. He shows me pictures of you and talks about you alllllllllll the time… and he seems to think that there’s no way you could possibly be happier where you are than if you’d stayed here with us. I can’t wait till the 3 of us can all play together as brothers one day, and maybe you can tell Z about all the fun things you were able to do when you left the hospital with Jesus… so he might understand that you going away wasn’t such a bad thing after all.

Sometimes I wonder if we would have looked alike? Mama says that when you first came out of her tummy you looked just like me, but after you got really sick you changed a lot. Don’t worry, she says you were the cutest, chubbiest baby she ever did see! One thing’s for sure though, and that’s that you, me, and brother Z are all very tall, just like Daddy! We’re all in the 100th percentile for height, and you were the tallest of us all. Z and I would have looked up to you for so many things (like reaching for the candy drawer that Mama puts way up high!)

But even though you’re gone, Ezekiel and I will still always look up to you. As we grow older, we will have things happen to us that are hurtful and unfair, and we’ll remember what you had to go through. We’ll say, “If Cruz could do it, we can too”! You taught us what it means to have hero-courage, you showed us how to keep trying even when things get really tough, but most of all… you set the example for me, of what it means to be a mighty man of valor.

I am Valor, and I am here today because of my BIG brave brother, Cruz. +++

7 thoughts on “BIG BROTHER

  1. I usually cry at the end of “story” or movie, but this time my tears were falling down like a rain from the moment I have started to read Valor’s latter to his late brother Cruz. So beautiful and powerful. I think you are such a strong and amazing person and mommy. Sometimes the strongest women are the ones who loved beyond all faults, cry behind closed doors and fight battles that nobody knows about. You write so beautifully, did you ever think of maybe writing a book? I believe it would be so inspirational for others who are fighting their own battles. God bless you and your family!

  2. Dear Valor,
    Little Baby Brother, Your Middle Brother was a hamm. He was so sweet and tender. He was brave and knew the comfort of your Momma’s voice. As you grow the love you have around you will also grow. You oldest brother Ezekiel is sooo cute and I’m sure you’ll both have a gazillion adventures together. We love you dearly, love your brothers and your parents.
    We are happy you were born!!!

    ~B. I love you. PTSD has many faces I’m glad you are able to have friends who are here for you. My heart is with you… Love you fiercely!!!

  3. Oh B! This is bittersweet-beautiful! What today must have been like for you! Luv you! Love & miss brave baby Cruz who changed our world, won’t ever forget him! Love that his bravery lives on in you, Jared, Z, and Valor! xoxo

  4. This is beautiful! Such a brave little warrior Cruz was! It’s beautiful watching Jesus heal your heart through your boys! 😘😘

    Bittersweet tears flowing 💧💧💧
    Love you all so much 😘
    Best big and little brothers!

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